The Vagabound Intruder
by NuttersAscend
Summary: Tsunayoshi had just about enough of his reality, so he demanded a refund. He got just that and now has to visit new worlds to accomodate into his new self. But hijacking someone else's body without knowing their circumstances doesn't really bode well. Tsuna's attitude and experiences don't really help either. Would things still work out for the better?(collection of AU oneshots)
1. Chapter 1

Hey there, this is a story which I decided to make to satisfy my maliciousness- a trait that's probably being developed from exposure to corpse party.

Surprisingly enough, horror seems to be an interesting field in itself.

This story is gonna be only of one-shots in AUs (loosely connected). I wonder if you'd be able to guess the twist before it happens in the end ;)

Well, let me know what you think. Peace!

* * *

**Chapter 1**

**The prince and the pauper**

Sawada Tsunayoshi demanded a refund for his mess of a life and was awarded just that. The issue was, he didn't exactly know the circumstance of his rebirth.

His auburn eyes looked around to drink in his room that stunk of antiseptic. Everything was spotless, not a hair was found in his room- not that there was much there in the first place.

His previous life's comic books and toys were nowhere to be found in the empty space. It might as well be empty since there was nothing particular that caught his eyes.

He frowned but wore his uniform- a habit he cultivated from Hibari's pavlovian training. Then, he headed downstairs hoping to gain more knowledge, blinking in surprise at the colorful, poster stuffed room right to his adjacent.

There was definitely life downstairs, he could hear cheer and laughter as he approached closer to the source. But when the participants looked at his figure, silence reigned as if Tsuna was the boogeyman himself.

Sawada Nana looked at him sternly and moved back to the counter, as a blonde haired teen reached back to his meal- scarfing it down like it was heaven's nectar. The guy was having buttery pancakes with maple syrup, along with hot chocolate. The sight almost made his heartburn.

There was another plate lying across the other- Salad- fit for a snow white rabbit. There was mineral water to accompany it. The sight almost made the brunette make a double take.

'What was with this difference? It's almost like heaven and earth!'

Just as Tsuna bemusedly thought of this, Nana headed back and placed hash browns on the goldie's side.

"Tsunayoshi, eat your food quickly. Giotto and you'd have to reach your school in time.

And Giotto! you've got syrup on your mouth! Geez... what am I going to do with you?" she said exasperatedly as she wiped it away with a handkerchief.

When she saw that the brunette made no move to the meal, she sighed and asked,

"What? No appetite again?

...Can't be helped, I'll pack it for your lunch."

Tsuna felt like he was the intruder here, strangely enough. The person addressing him was looking exactly like his mother, but she was way colder than she had been...

Giotto slipped a bread in his mouth finally and left the house in a hurry.

'That guy still wants to eat after that?!' his bewilderment had to be paused to hurry along to school. Nana's impatient look definitely triggered his feet to move forward, away from the place he considered as his only safe haven.

Feeling oddly like being disowned, the boy shook his head at his dramatics and decided to evaluate his situation fairly.

School was... something. His eyes stared at the pristine new covers of his books- like as if it was possibly the nth replacement. Don't tell me, he was getting bullied here also?

Maybe his room and his bag smelled like medicine because the version of him here was treating his own wounds, thus emptying his wallet. He gritted his teeth at the possibility.

He wanted things to get better, but why did he feel like things were going only downhill?! Was it some kind of requirement that every Sawada Tsunayoshi must be Dame-Tsuna?!

The rabbit food glared at him in all its glory during lunch, and his stomach made him acquiesce to the meal. It was as bland as he expected.

Tsuna was feeling quite desperate from the day that when he returned, he went straight to the bathroom filled to the brim with medicine and stripped to check his body.

It was pale, scrawny- fitting of a maiden. But unlike one, it looked like he was getting a beating daily or frequently. His fists unclenched as a sense of hopelessness ran over him.

He slumped down and laid flat against the floor to cool down a bit. Downstairs was lively once again. Just then, the door opened and he heard a jubilant, gruff voice- which he faintly recognized as his long absentee father. Judging by the voices, they were used to his presence.

'Isn't that nice? Kaa-san's love is requited in this world. They can take his visits for granted here...'

The mugginess of his current habitat didn't affect him as he concentrated on the voices as they recollected and discussed about their lives cheerfully.

'If I had a good deal, I would be in the body of the blondie downstairs. When I wanted a refund, I wanted distance from Dame-Tsuna...'

He slowly stood up from his recon, intending to see what exactly was salvageable from the mess he saw in front of him.

Iemitsu looked somber when his eyes met the formers'. It was a new face that he had never encountered, but he didn't wish for this sort of novelty.

"I heard from your mother that you've skipped breakfast? You won't grow stronger if you skimp on your vitals."

'Yet your other son seems to be able to splurge on food that may as well be toxic.' he was feeling spiteful to this person, things were getting to him. He was always unimpressed with this guy, even in his previous life...

He was jittery this morning, hoping for a positive turn of events for once. He was impatient- he didn't want to observe for days on end just to see if at least _this Tsuna got a damn break! _

"The greens have a lot of iron. They'll help in healing your wounds... This applies especially to you, with your tendency to bruise easily!"

'Anyone would have a tendency to 'bruise easily' if they're the bullies' bullseye target!'

"What? You still won't talk? That's no good. If you don't open up even in the slightest, you won't be able to make any friends..."

Nana looked at him and said, "Tsunayoshi, how about we book an appointment with the psychiatrist to help you remove that mental block so that you can communicate with other people like a normal person?"

Tsuna's eyes widened at the possibility of these people shoving him to the looney bin just because he couldn't respond to the hard questions they've been throwing one after the other.

"..." his voice wouldn't come out with the disuse, but before he gave a second try, the two sighed in annoyance before focusing on the unruffled teen sitting right across him who was stuffing himself with muffins.

The three got into an engaging conversation in mere seconds, making Tsuna wonder if the two wanted the answers to the questions or not...

His throat felt weirdly closed at the moment and the food in front of him- he didn't know what the warping monstrosity in front of him could be- looked unappetizing even if his stomach felt hollow.

The three had left the table, leaving him to his devices- a table with leftovers- that just tempted him to taste the riches. They looked colorful, warm and smelled wonderful. It was like the food in front of him were from a different dimension. He was definitely playing spot the odd one out.

* * *

But what was the answer? His food? Himself? Or was it them?

His eyes were burning, while he heard snores from his long paralyzing stay. He wobbled towards the light switch and amidst the darkness, his tears flooded in peace.

What was this? He was being fed, he was clothed and he had a roof on top of his head; He shared blood ties, and could function just like them... Yet, why did he feel like he wasn't even a guest here?

He should face them and ask them face to face. He should have a straight discussion with them. Maybe he could start with the blissfully ignorant Giotto, but the fancy decor that was the damn entrance made him withdraw into his shell.

They were damn words!

Wasn't it 'Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me?'

The next day, he was exploring the school to find a way to extend his stay just a bit longer. He wanted to spend as less of time in that hellhole that left quite the impression in that extremely short stay.

So he moved to the infirmary and spotted the school nurse who was shooing off a male student, claiming that the place hosted no person of his gender.

But just as he was backing off from hostile company, the nurse looked at him- then, sighed and beckoned him inside.

'Wonder why it's fine if I enter, but other guys aren't? Is this guy and the actual Tsuna close?'

"Guess you're peppier than before. Isn't that nice?

Here I thought your damped mood would be a buzz kill. Looks like even storm clouds have silver linings."

The nurse's snark told him that his actual personality was gloomy- if what he experienced was his every day, then it would definitely make sense why he was how he was.

"Who knows, maybe it was my teru teru bouzu that lifted your rain clouds, haha.

But still, if you were a bit more honest with your self, you wouldn't have to go through this self-inflicted punishment..." he said looking at the brunette's bloodshot eyes.

It was almost as if the other noticed that he cried his eyes out. Most probably, he didn't. After all, his puffy eyes went by like a ninja during breakfast and class hours.

'I could literally cry all day, and I doubt that anyone would notice, let alone care...'

Is that how ninjas felt when their black garb went unnoticed in broad daylight?

"...like what? tell them that I want some of the stuff my brother's having? The fancy outfits, the tasty snacks, his posh room and the toys he's got, or the trips he goes with my parents?

Like if I want to go to amusement parks, restaurants, safaris or even at least host birthday parties for the birthday boy?" his eyes wandered over to the previous day, when he succumbed to temptation.

He entered his brother's room like a thief and smuggled the abundant collection of albums back to his room, his eyes greedily drinking the decorations covering the other's room. Neon stars of constellations on the ceiling, artistic walls, comics and figurines lining shelves, guitars and music instruments collecting dust in corners, fluffily dense bed, enough pillows to smother someone in their sleep, electronics haphazardly lying across the floor and the wide, comfortable smile of the king sleeping in his dreamland.

He definitely reincarnated as a green goblin, not as a Sawada Tsunayoshi- his dark feelings would seep and corrupt the fairytale contained in a room right across his. It was the lone stretch between heaven and hell, sky and earth, the Eden and the underworld. Maybe it was his true nature that was crystal clear to his parents that made them give him nothing since he was greedy for more, much more than what he had right now.

His sniffs and tears accompanied him as he basically tortured himself seeing the adventures on adventures, epics after epics traveled and experienced by the trio- the boy born with a silver spoon and him with a blank canvas of an album- showing him exactly how much he had missed upon. His eyes seared the photos, searching for tail or hide of his body- _even a single strand was fine_.

Why would they give up on him, deciding that _Giotto_ was their magnum opus and their final work?

"...ah, well. Not that far." it was like this man was familiar with how his 'home' treated him.

"Weren't you the one who decided that what you had right now was enough? You even told the other boy to live for his stead..."

'Was that Tsuna trying to live vicariously through Giotto?'

"...Actually, you might want to think of being home schooled with how often you're here- You're practically the infirmary's poster child.

In fact, I should even include your photograph in our pamphlet."

This suggestion would be much welcome in his past life, but Tsuna dashed out of the room at the mere idea of this guy trying to actualize his suggestion.

By the time he was out, his hand hit the frame of the door in his haste. He didn't notice the red mark that contrasted his pale skin in his fear.

He was also more occupied by his lack of breath from the short run. He was practically bully bait with this kind of endurance...

* * *

So when he returned back to the house, he headed straight to the fridge because _damn them, he went through all this to have a taste of happiness, _and he was going to have it one way or the other.

If Giotto was blessed enough to have the luxury to have rich treats melt in his tongue, yet get bored of them enough to leave them half eaten- Tsuna could be forgiven to take one for himself at least, right?

He wasn't doing anything as barbaric as giving the blessed boy a half-eaten sweet, filled with his germs and disgusting genes.

He wouldn't let Giotto be infected with his miserable being, so he could have something tiny for himself at least?

So he popped a chocolate drop into his mouth, feeling absolutely terrible.

His throat and eyes constricted and his nose felt runny, while his stomach was hurting. Then it just went worse from what Tsuna assumed guilt felt like.

Then Nana entered the scene and shrieked at him- it rang loudly in his ears as he felt bitter at not being allowed just this bit.

Suddenly, he choked out something. The brunette showed what he hacked out to the lady, thinking it was the chocolate.

'Here, you can have it back. Geez... Can you give me some peace now?'

His hands felt sticky with what he felt was saliva or puke. Since she was still screaming, he thought that this was certainly a disgusting way of giving food back.

His vision dimmed as the mother ran for the phone to call the emergency service- her son was on verge of collapse and was coughing out blood.

The family was always tense with the brunette since he was sickly from birth.

Any form of stimulation was lethal for him.

That's why his room was stripped of anything that could hurt his eyes with its flamboyance.

He couldn't go on trips, often being stuck in hospital rooms with a scowl.

The child hated hospitals with a passion.

Naturally, they couldn't use their hospital photos in his personal album given how the boy felt about them.

He couldn't have fatty food or food having a lot of chemicals or rich in ingredients or contents. If he did, he would have a dangerous episode. The reward just wasn't worth the risk.

Tsuna couldn't experience the life of a normal child, often spitting blood or vomiting food into his books when he tried to study. His room became a portable hospital room and his books needed constant replacing.

Despite that, Tsuna wanted to live like a normal child, without stripping his family of joy.

Giotto acquiesced to his wish and endeavored to indulge himself completely like his baby brother wanted him to and treated his brother like he wasn't a cripple.

But his parents were a different matter.

They couldn't keep their composure with the extent of sacrifice their kid had to make to live like a normal child and hovered around him like helicopter parents.

They could only take a chill pill if the boy was out of the picture, so Giotto cooperated and forced the two to go on wild and various outings to show Tsuna that his presence did not sound a death knell to their happiness -that the four of them could form a happy picture, even if one of them couldn't muster the strength to join them on the journey of life.

That evening, this fragile balance collapsed from Tsuna's action.

Iemitsu and Nana realized no matter how much caution they put to safely care for their child, no matter how much worry or mother henning they could have done, it was all pointless against reality.

Giotto was forced to realize that the foundation for their reality was built with twigs. It would probably collapse eventually with the winds of change.

Tsuna's pessimism peeled off the gorgeous curtains that covered a gross statue.

Sawada Nana hysterically wept at the deafening silence as the heartbeat monitor made no sound, and the corpse made no movement. Sawada Iemitsu could only stand by and watch the show unfold- no action would save them from their reality. Sawada Giotto became the happy prince stripped of his ruby eyes and golden leaves.

Was it worth it? To show the beautiful lie for what it truly was?


	2. Chapter 2

Heya there, guess inspiration struck this time. I thought this work would be more tough to write for, but well, what'd ya know?

Lemme know what you think of the chapter, were you able to guess where it would end up in? (The biggest hint would be in the title ;) )

* * *

**Chapter 2**

**Water Water everywhere, but not a drop to drink**

Sawada woke up this time with bleary eyes, as green surrounding him in all 360 degrees of angles. He was standing right next to the sound of muffled sobs. There was a child clutching on bread holding right onto his pants. The duo wore ratty clothes and the bread itself looked neater than they presented themselves. It would be safe to assume that they stole it from somewhere.

"Tsuna-nii... the trees look scary. I can't see anything through them.

We've just stolen this loaf from the pigeons. We can't go back to be chased by that selfish old hag who thought feeding those vermin was a better idea than letting us have some grub...

Hey, Tsuna-nii... Is there a hidden hierarchy of pests or something? Did the pigeons win the annual pest battle royal and that's why they get to keep the bread?"

The fluffy black haired kid sobbed out hysterically as he choked the loaf. Tsuna absentmindedly wondered which one would need CPR in a bit.

Seeing the brunette staring back at him in a daze, the afro-haired kid seemed to muster something in him to be the one wearing the big boy pants in this situation.

"Don't you worry one bit, Tsuna-nii! Lambo-san will ensure you that things will go fine!

After all, Lambo-san is a genius!"

The child seemed a bit reluctant to do what he planned on doing, but with shaky hands, he pinched the loaf and dropped a piece where they stood. He then started dragging the brunette deeper into the woods, glancing back at the streets, frightened.

The child left a trail of bread with every step they made further into the looming woods.

'Are we being chased by something?'

The treetops shrouded and hid away the sun, while their surroundings looked the same with every turn they made.

'It's like a maze here. At least, we've got the breadcrumbs to keep track of the surroundings but... I wonder for how much longer we can use this method?'

Tsuna looked at the rapidly decaying bread and the now longing look of the child, who stared at their sole guide with hunger.

Even if they realized that they've been walking in circles, they'd have to retrace their steps to reuse the crumbs.

Even if there were animals in the woods...

1\. They didn't have any weapons

2\. They were lacking the strength, being kids and being hungry and thirsty.

3\. They were hurt and aching all over, with all the cuts and bruises that littered around them.

4\. They didn't know which were eatable, and which would end up killing them instead.

'Honestly... what's going on with this Tsuna... I don't know which way is back anymore.' he said, looking at the ground that was covered in crumbs after a 4 hour walk.

'Oh man... We've been walking in circles, haven't we? It was such a bad idea to wander into the forest without any plans...' Tsuna moved his thin hands over that of the kid, trying to calm the panicking kid.

"Let's go over to the places without any of the crumbs. And..." He took the hand the child was using to pick the crumbs out. "Leave that. Recover your strength for now. We can handle whatever comes for us." he said, awkwardly looking away from Lambo.

'There's not much left now... but, I can probably handle it for a while longer.' he surveyed the surrounding, desperately trying to avoid looking back at the sniveling child who was feeling extremely uneasy with the current state of things.

There was a quiet munching sound from under him, but things were getting dark and it would probably only get more dangerous in the woods from now on. So Tsuna carefully picked the kid up on for a piggy back ride and grimaced at the slight pain in his back from the weight.

'Let's just ignore that. We have to hurry and find shelter. I'll risk it a bit in the morning with the plants here.

I can probably handle more than the little guy right now.'

The duo's lucky break appeared in the form of a brightly colored house right in the smack middle of the woods. It was made out of candy, gumdrops, gingerbread, cookies, chocolate and other kinds of delicious little treats.

* * *

Tsuna rubbed his bleary eyes, wondering if he was getting delusional, while Lambo was getting jittery with excitement. The little guy started babbling with joy on such a wondrous sight and the giggles with that made enough noise to lure the house's lord out to check things out.

An emancipated old lady with a crutch spotted them, and just as she did, her face bloomed into that of bright joy. She definitely welcomed visitors with open arms.

"You looked famished, deary! Come on in for a bite. There's plenty of snacks to fill your little bellies with!

Oh, it's been ages since my last visitors!"- yes, there was plenty to go with. They were surrounded by their means of survival.

'But, why...? Is it because munching away on them would leave her open to attacks from wild animals?

But, then... why make a house from candy?' he looked at the women's crazed eyes, and judged that their host may not be the most stable one.

"Tsuna-nii! Stop daydreaming there! I'm hungry~!" the boy whined at him with sparkling eyes. They looked so full of relief, that Tsuna didn't have the heart to warn the child.

'We could resume our walk after a day. Just long enough to not see the consequences of what it means to stay with this lady.'

They were lead to a warm furnace that had a huge cauldron on top of it. Lambo made a break for it to get warmed up immediately. The night would be long and cold.

The old lady moved towards the brunette and asked him a request, remorse lacing her tone. "Dearie, I'm sorry to ask of you of this, but could you pick all the vegetation that surrounds this house- and also grind them to paste with the rock over the kitchen counter? My old bones wouldn't let me do that, and I plan on making some hot stew for you to last the night. I want you children to have a hearty meal."

Tsuna acquiesced and he tried to get things done quickly. His own hunger just wanted something, anything inside of him right then.

'Why does she look so hungry? Why did she want us to eat our fills so strongly?

Is it because she can't make her own meals because of her body? Was she trying to leave something behind if things go south for her?

Or was it purely out of the goodness of her heart?'

After the last world, Tsuna couldn't help but second guess and re-guess a person's motives.

The granny urged the two of them to eat more and more as if she was trying to make them into stuffed trophies- a proof of a successful hunt. Tsuna shook his head, willing away those dark thoughts.

'I should learn to trust people, like Lambo.' the child was gulping down the contents of the plate. If he could, he would probably eat the plate itself. Meanwhile, the grandma's own plate was empty.

She then walked towards the kitchen counter to fetch water for them to rinse their meal down. There was a small wooden jug lying ominously on the counter.

'If that jug was silver, it might have turned black from poison.' and yet again, his thoughts reached that direction. Tsuna frowned at himself for his supposed character.

"Granny... you should help yourself to a drink first. You must be thirsty from hosting us for the evening. Besides, you've not even had a morsel until now.

Please, I insist."

For a second, he saw the happy visage on the old lady crumble, but then it was back like it was naught but an illusion.

"You silly child, it's my duty as an elder to take care of children."

Tsuna went over to the counter and used some of his remaining strength to grab the jug from her, saying "No, you don't have to worry about a thing granny! We're young and bursting with energy. In fact, we're supposed to be helping you out."

Lambo looked at their tug of war with slight confusion. Tsuna himself didn't know why he was being this stubborn.

The lady's twig-like fingers coiled themselves around his own bony wrist. Tsuna's eyes showed wines around a corpse's bones. With a knee jerk reaction, he took back his hand to himself. His little jump made him loosen his grip on the jug, only for it to clamor all over the floor.

She looked at his fright with shock, while Lambo spectated at his uncalled for reaction with dumbfounded silence.

There was no use crying over spilled milk, or in this case, spilled 'water'.

Then, the old woman's demeanor got taken over by the flames of rage, but her body could not stand the burden of her would-be outburst. Her heart could not take it.

Her pointed fingers froze for a moment, as her eyes bulged from anger to that of shock. Her posture changed from that of accusation to that of suffering.

At last, with a slow amble, she walked towards the retreating brunette like moth to flame. When Tsuna ducked out her line of charge, she tumbled into the wide furnace to be kindle for the darkness of this night.

It was like the house with its bright and colorful decorations deemed her unsuitable as an owner. It was far too sweet, far to dreamlike and hopeful for an existence like hers.

But it would soon reject them with the same reason.

* * *

When Lambo snapped out of his reverie with dawning horror, he couldn't hold his stomach's contents.

He raised his trembling arms towards the instigator, seeking comfort from the one stranger he knew and trusted- the only other living soul. Tsuna very much obliged.

They huddled up in the cottage for the day, unable to move from the transpired events. It was a sleepless night.

The next morning, Tsuna was the one feeling nauseous. It was a case of food poisoning. The old lady had lied to them.

'What was she planning to do to us when we became sick?' the paling brunette thought.

It was safe to assume that the surrounding plantation was nothing but traps for her naive visitors.

Lambo tried to forage for food on his behalf but then saw that the trails of breadcrumbs vanished- possibly sustaining other life forms.

The child couldn't venture further with the dizzying sensation of never getting back to safety in the maze-like forest. Tsuna didn't blame him. The last night's circling haunted him in his own way too.

The stress got to the kid, as he headed straight for the treat, their safety be damned- only to learn why the witch look starved when she practically ruled the desert kingdom.

The trophy house, despite how delicious it looked, was never hampered by flies and other insects. No other animal or visitor apparently decided to sink their teeth, despite how appealing it presented itself.

Tsuna belatedly realized that it was his voice shrieking like the hum of a mosquito as he saw the child lose his life over the sweet goodies.

There was no deal as sweet as this, and the devil would be hard pressed to drive a greater bargain.

He stayed in that hell hole for three days before his hungry stomach was trying to take his mind over to do its bidding.

There was food in front of him, even though nature took dibs. But then, he faintly remembered his biology teacher's class.

In the food pyramid, the spread and level of poison increased with high up you were in that pyramid.

If he was going to die of poison in either case...

He snapped a piece of chocolate from the unassuming house. After all, this chocolate was _just to die for._


End file.
